Read a passage from the book I'm working on.?

No copyright please. I just want your opinions about my werewolf book. This is a dream part in my story.

I was slowly drifting into a deep sleep. The last thing I seen was Jamie, Eric and Zack coming over to me and then them fighting Tyrone and his posy. ‘Oh no! Not this dream again why won’t it stop! Why won’t it stop!’
(It was a dark, cold night in Transylvania, Romania. It was in the early 1800’s and the people were all in their houses because of the full moon. The people were frightened by things that only occur in the nights that are unforgettable. It was so terrifying no one would dare come out, for they knew what was coming to them, for it is only one of the horrible beasts that has haunted Transylvania for century’s.
“Is everyone here, are you all here” said a woman to her children. “Lucilia, get away from that window. We have to hide, you of all people should know what’s happening. You’re the oldest of your brothers and sister and I need you to help me!” she told Lucilia.
Lucilia turned around to her. She had beautiful brown, curly hair and blue eyes. “I know mother but I have to tell you something?” she told her. “Not right now, I’m busy!” she replied. “But mother, Tom is outside playing.” she roared with worrying tears running down her face. “Oh no! Quickly we have to get ...” she stopped. They all heard the howl of the beast. Shivers had gone down their backs because they’re scared of that evil demon from hell. They have always wondered why would God let such a creature invest the Earth and destroy humanity.
“We have to get Tom before that dreadful creature reaches the town and starts to feed his thirst for blood.” the mother demanded. “Your right.” replied Lucilia. Tom was just walking around, playing like any normal day. Then he sat down with his little wooden car his father have gave to him just before he passed away. “Lucilia, I want you to stay here with Dale and baby Maria and bring them down to the secret basement. I will go and get Tom.” requested the mother. “Don’t Mam, you go with them and I’ll go get him. The others need you, especially Baby Maria.” insisted Lucilia sobbing while saying it. “No. They need you more and Tom needs me. I couldn’t risk losing two of my children.” shouted the mother. As she did she ran out to save Tom.
She ran over to him to grab him into the house.”Tom I’m so glad you’re ...” she couldn’t continue to speak because she was stopped by the breathing of the creature. They were only a few metres away from the beast. The creature continued to breathe, but it’s breathing got deeper every second. Lucilia stood at the window of her house, looking at the beast. The beast was carefully watching the mother and Tom. You couldn’t see much of it’s body, but you could see face. The parts you couldn’t see was covered in the bush it was in.
It had glowing yellow eyes, a hairy face, a long snout with razor sharp teeth hanging and big hairy hands with sharp claws that couls slice you easily. It seemed to be waiting for the perfect moment to attack it’s prey. “Tom just slowly come over to me and we can go into the house, ok.” said the mother, scared to even look at the beast. Then it pounced at Tom, him trying to escape, but the beast was too strong. The mother ran over to it and started trying to get it off her son. “Get off him you evil demon. You have no right to take his life you filthy mutt!” she yelled. She continued to punch, slap and shove it, trying to free her son.
The beast then knocked her to a wooden post and she fell unconscious. Lucilia still standing at the door was crying for her mother and brother. The beast then went over to her, picked her up and roared in her face. She then picked a pocket knife out of her apron pocket and slashed it’s right eye. The beast dropped her and moved away from her howling in pain. The mother ran over and started stabbing it in the back multiple times. The beast was howling so much pain, that the villagers came out of their houses watching the two fight. They were all in shock. The major came out and witnessed it from his window, and so did the other villagers. “Oh dear God, honey, Anna Marie

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