How Can I Become A Vampire Hunter?
I would like to hunt people who say they are vampires.
Some things about me
I am an exellent shot
I have great vision in the dark
I have 6 pack abs
I know martial arts
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content rss
March 10th, 2010 at 8:23 am
Dude no. Those are just Twilight fangirls.
I already hunt them.
March 10th, 2010 at 8:23 am
well you can start by killing this fruit
http://seen.mainetoday.com/gallery_photos/2009/07/31/86416/8251_edward_580.jpg
March 10th, 2010 at 8:23 am
Hunt sm1 who says vampires are real. Thts it.
March 10th, 2010 at 8:23 am
Seems you have all that it takes to be a really good Vampire Hunter. Do you plan of killing one of them , if you came across one?
March 10th, 2010 at 8:23 am
yes you could in your motherfucking imagination you fucking black ass african
March 10th, 2010 at 8:23 am
Perhaps by killing a sparkly Twilight vampire.
(Naw I’m kidding. No offense to Twilight fans.)
March 10th, 2010 at 8:23 am
Look for emo/s. I think they are or are related to vampires. You might find some clues on their whereabouts.
March 10th, 2010 at 8:23 am
You’ll need a stake [Western civilisation's vampires] and/or wax-sealed spell parchment [Eastern 'hopping vampires'], as well as a source of constant flame, holy water, mirror, crucifix, u.v. lamp, garlic, more than a snowball in hell’s chance and a repartee quicker than drinking the 6-pack while you watch an all-day run of Buffy episodes.
In reality of course, instead of going after ‘real’ vampires, you’re just singling out people trying to pertain to vampirism as a trend because it is just so not right, they’re all still human in every way and just have this cultural difference you feel you should rally against because they are all about victims and preying on people.
All you need for that is an unfoundable & despicable attitude towards them that undermines the superficial veil they pull over themselves - to be certain their retort must be based on your effort to communicate intolerance so that they literally choke themselves awake & out of the stupor they’re in and back to the mediocrity of their existence that they cannot truly escape from without some flight of fancy about having fangs and sucking people’s blood.
Something like saying, "you’re an ancient ageless bloodlust fetishism hell-bent on taking a predatory swipe at people….", only in a way that makes them see themselves as the regular person they are, trying to be vampiristic in an utterly inept & amateurish attempt so they become totally uncomfortable with it and just want to wipe their burgundy lipstick off, spit their fake fangs out and reaffirm they have a reflection by looking in a mirror and smiling at the stranger looking back with an "I said you weren’t cut out for this" expression of revulsion & self-pity.
Probably a good body prop that’s ’still warm’, ferociously ripped asunder & briefly ‘pumps blood’ in a realistic ‘final moments of life ebbing away’…, the right kind of weight for a three quarter torso missing an arm, head and opposite leg - so you can throw it to them like a bone and say, "If I was a vampire - you’d eat my leftovers whimpering gratefully, but as it is you have not got it in you to go out and do that to a person without knowing how wrong it is, so while you camp it up trying to be ‘~of the night’, your layers of fake vampirism are what fall victim; make-up, clothes and accessories, modelled by - "yet another bland darkling sucking at civilisation like a filthy parasite infection!" "….
Y’know - appeal to their sense of self-worth…, it’s a corner they fight themselves into.
March 10th, 2010 at 8:23 am
I’m afraid you’re too late… the real vampire hunters killed them all off during the Middle Ages, that’s why there aren’t any vampires any more since then, only animes and tv shows and movies. Sorry. Would you consider being an Orkan Man?